Look Both Ways - Australia 2005

One liner: The people who attend the scene of a train accident develop relationships with each other.

* contains spoilers *

Nick is a newspaper photographer who has just discovered that his testicular cancer has spread to his lungs. As the doctor talks, photos of Andy's life flick through his mind, from a baby to an adult and ultimately to death. When he returns to the office his boss Phil is busy whipping out instructions until he realises Nick hasn't said anything. Annoyed, he demands some answers. Nick reveals he has cancer. Phil doesn't know how to deal with it and says he'll organise a collection and a bottle of Scotch. Seeing Nick's dismay over his lightness, Phil tells him to go home instead. While packing up his things, reporter Andy tries to enlist Nick for a story about a man killed on the railway tracks. Nick tries to get out of it but fails to say he just found out he has cancer. Andy misses Nick's hesitation and the two of them end up on the scene.

Meanwhile Meryl, who is a sensitive artist with depression, is making her way back from her parent's home where she has just attended her father's funeral. As she travels, she can't help but imagine awful situations of death for just about everyone she sees, including herself. These are represented by rough, cartoonish animations. The train crashes, drivers get stuck on the tracks, people get run over by cars. Back in the real world, she travels past the homes that are near the railway tracks, and sees a man working on his home in the backyard, playing with a dog. When she gets off the train, she has to walk past the same houses and sees the man playing with his dog outside their yard.

When Nick and Andy arrive at the scene, we discover the man with the dog had fallen over the track when his dog ran off and the train hit him. Meryl saw him fall on the tracks but did not see him get killed. The train driver is sitting on a block looking shocked. Andy hurries off to interview everyone, intent on getting a scoop. Lost in thought about his own impending death, Nick focuses on taking photos of the people's suffering, including the girlfriend of the man who has just arrived home. He takes a photo of her just as she has dropped her groceries with an agonised look on her face.

As he leaves he realises he is travelling the same direction as Meryl. They converse but it is only when he reaches his home that he learns of Meryl's dad. Embarrassed he shuts up. Meryl says she supposes she'll be imparting her star sign soon to a perfect stranger. Without warning, she suddenly says "Cancer". Nick wonders how she knew, but seeing his confusion, Meryl thinks he didn't know what she meant and adds, "My star sign is cancer". She mentions that when something happens you see it everywhere.

As Nick goes on home alone, he realises what she means as everything that catches his eye is to do with death, such as a flower tribute on a post near the road, skulls on posters and so on. When he arrives home, he starts drinking straight from the bottle. He looks through his photos and decides to send the one of the distraught girlfriend to Phil.

Phil arrives home and says happy birthday to his daughter, who replies that it is tomorrow. He turns to his wife to whisper how old is she, but the daughter overhears and says she is 10. As he says well happy birthday for tomorrow, darling, she rolls her eyes. Phil comes to realise he is too fixated by work. He goes to smoke a cigarette but thinks of Nick and stops.

Back at the office, Andy is putting an angry bent on his article. He had been telling everyone how male suicide was grossly overlooked, intimating that it was a cover up and nobody cared whether men were dying. He questions whether the man that died today was really an accident. A colleague tells him that her schedule has changed so he has to do Arts Diary this week. She tells him this time he really has to attend the performances before reviewing them, unlike his efforts last time. He complains to her a journalist of his level does not write Arts Diary, but when his phone rings, he sarcastically answers it Arts Diary, Andy speaking.

When he arrives home he finds Anna, a woman he was dating, on his doorstep. There is an awkwardness between them. He goes inside but does not invite her then he gets a drink for himself. She says she thought she was dumped because he failed to call her for a month. He said he was busy. She breaks the news that she is pregnant. Andy becomes exasperated and says he doesn't want a baby and this is no way to start having one (in a casual relationship). Anna says she doesn't want one either, but it's clear that she is unhappy with the way Andy is taking the news. Angry and let down, she storms off.

We find Nick passed out on the floor from drinking. Meanwhile, Meryl has arrived home and listens to various messages on her answering machine which seem to be unsympathetic to her recent developments, including her boss who says she expected Meryl to be back sooner and to meet a deadline. She is working quickly on a painting and takes a call from her sister.

The next morning Andy's photo has made the front page. Meryl is working on a painting when suddenly her friend Linda arrives who is heavily pregnant and has not a bone of sensitivity. Meryl tips over some ink onto her new painting in fright. Without apologising, Linda says has Meryl just spilt something on that. Meryl doesn't blame Linda. Linda questions how the funeral went. Meryl says her sister ate all the salmon sandwiches during the funeral. Linda's comments are tactless but without malice. They decide to go to the pool together.

Once in the pool, Meryl again imagines death all around her, such as a little girl being drowned and herself being eaten by sharks in the pool. Again these are cartoons based on her paintings. We see the mother of the girl has been peering at a man's newspaper until he becomes frustrated and just gives it to her. She begins reading the article with obsessed interest until she notices her daughter floating too long face down and calls out to her. The girl turns over and takes a deep breath to the relief of Meryl.

Meryl goes home to see the article and angry over the photo and article and the insensitivity towards the death goes out with a big stack of paper to throw it away. However, all of it topples over and goes all over the footpath. With a groan she gets down to tidy it up.

Nick goes jogging and comes to the train track where the man was killed. He thinks of going to the house to apologise to the widow but just as he reaches the door he sees an undertaker arrive. He runs on and then encounters Meryl who is throwing out a stack of newspapers. He tries to apologise saying that she didn't need all the drama after her dad's death and that he hoped his or Andy's actions didn't upset her. She doesn't invite him in. He notices one of her paintings sticking out so picks it up and sees it is a lone girl in a large ocean, circled by sharks. He takes it home. Later he returns to her place to ask her if the artwork is hers. She is surprised to see him but lets him in.

Going into her apartment he admires her paintings and they get to discussing risky things they have done. They also discuss their mutual issue of seeing death everywhere but discover that, thankfully, they don't see death when they look at each other. They end up having sex, however both of them are privately obsessing about their own issues leading up to the actual act, such as Nick picturing that his cancer cells are breaking up and entering his blood stream. Nick wakes up in the middle of the night and as he sits up, discovers paintings under the bed which Meryl hid when he arrived. He sees that they depict Meryl being eaten by a shark, and Meryl huddling with threatening dark clouds above her. He carefully puts them back, admires the big ocean painting that he first liked when he arrived, then writes her a note before he goes home.

Andy meanwhile has had to go to a theatre production of Macbeth so that he can write a review for Arts Diary, something which he feels is demeaning to him as a serious journalist. He has already had a go at Nick for getting his photo on the front page and Phil for putting it there. Phil defends his decision by asking Andy if he has talked to Nick lately. Nick and Andy had been at cricket earlier in the day and Phil had shown up as a way of making amends for his blunder about the cancer news. While Nick mulls over his father's last days dealing with cancer, he suddenly asks Andy whether he believes in God. Andy retorts that it is completely stupid how anyone could believe there is someone out there who sees every little thing that happens to everyone and then at the end of their life God will decide whether they have been any good. Andy tells Nick to block, however Andy is distracted by a nearby wedding, realising he might never experience it, and hits the ball high resulting in someone catching him out. Andy gets extremely upset.

Andy receives a call from his ex wife who says he can't have the children as his daughter has broken her arm. It turns out that it is the same woman from the pool. She then has an argument with him about his article and tells him that the whole world is not against him. It is revealed Andy has a big chip on his shoulder and imagines everyone else gets it easier, explaining his outbursts relating to Anna, Nick and Phil and the kind of articles he has been writing.

While at Macbeth, he leaves early after the actor says something poignant which leads Andy to heave a huge exasperated sigh. He tries to get his glass of wine but the waiter says the play has not finished. Andy says he really needs it and the waiter relents. He calls Anna who is relaxing at home with friends. She takes the call reluctantly and tells Andy she and her flatmate are leaving on Friday for England and she plans to stay there and find work. Confused, Andy asks why she is doing that. Upset by Andy's mixed messages, Anna tells him she doesn't want to talk about it and hangs up.

The next day Andy collects his children for an access visit and takes them to the gallery. His ex wife gives him a long list of instructions while she is in the car until Andy says don't worry, I won't let anything happen to them. They enter the gallery and the children ask how long they have to stay there. Andy says until they gain some insight. Later in the afternoon, he returns home and finds Anna waiting on the steps. Taken aback he asks the children to wait behind a wall, then he asks Anna why she has come. Just then his ex wife shows up. He throws his hands up in a why me moment. His ex wife informs him they are late for a birthday party and he asks why didn't you let me take them? The children emerge and she realises they have lollies and ice creams which she told Andy not to give them. Andy says who doesn't take lollies to a party? Andy says to Anna this is the reason I don't want a baby, I can't go through this again. Anna says again she doesn't want a baby either, but can't believe Andy's behaviour towards her and says pretend you didn't know and runs off.

Nick shows up at Meryl's apartment where she doesn't invite him in. He says he left because he couldn't sleep. He asks whether he can have a drink but all she does is go inside and get a drink before giving it to him at the door. However he comes inside. She burns her toast and Nick says he is due to go to lunch at his mum's and would she like to go?

They turn up at his mother's and while Meryl and his mother talk in the loungeroom, Nick rehearses saying he's got cancer in the kitchen. He eventually gives up and goes to his dad's study where he looks at the boxes of his dad's things that have been partially sorted and packed. It was revealed earlier that his father died of cancer a year ago and he moved back here to keep his mother company. His mum shows up and says lunch is ready. At the table, Meryl is sitting at the head of the table while mother and son face each other. After a while it comes up that mum never expected to need to cook something special for anyone again and that she used to enjoy cooking. Nick realises that she is referring to the period where she had to cook bland food for his dad when he was undergoing treatment, and he blows up saying it wasn't any fun for his dad during that time either.

Meryl, who doesn't know the dad died of cancer, and not knowing Nick's cancer news either, is surprised by Nick's treatment of his mum. His mum gets up and exits and then Nick goes after her. Meryl awkwardly remains at the table while an argument erupts off camera. Meanwhile Nick is angrily reproaching his mum over what dad must have gone through, and is still unable to bring himself to tell her his own cancer. His mum on the other hand tells him it is different for everyone and his way of coping and her way of coping might not have been the way his dad wanted to cope. She finishes by saying no matter what anyone has to go through, they need to find their own way of dealing with it. Nick settles down and realises she is right because he can't have understood what it felt like to be in her position or his dad's position during that time.

Meryl and Nick go back on the train in silence. Nick is a million miles away, absorbed by recollections of his father's different approaches - first staunch and joking when he found out, and finally dreadfully afraid and vulnerable at the last. When their stop arrives, Meryl has already gone to the carriage door and plans to leave him there but changes her mind, then changes her mind again but the door closes. Nick looks up and apologetically looks at Meryl when he realises they have missed their stop, while Meryl looks guilty for being caught trying to leave.

As they walk past a group of Africans playing cricket, Nick ends up telling her he isn't prepared to start anything. Meryl says so I see someone get killed on Friday and meet you, then we have sex on Saturday, meet your mother on Sunday and now you are telling me you can't start anything. This must be the shortest most dramatic relationship I have ever had. He then tells her he has cancer. She says what, cancer-cancer? As he confirms it, she gets angry and says it is a lame excuse. She runs off but runs back and yells at him, has he ever thought maybe she didn't want him, or that she wasn't ready to start anything. She runs off and then runs back again and yells she doesn't need people like him, maybe she did hope he would like her but people like him need to piss off. As he stands there, trying to make sense of what happened, one of the African guys says: what happened, mate? Did you forget to take out the rubbish again? Nick nods and walks off.

Meryl is running home all the while imagining awful accidents happening (more animations) and ends up tripping and falling on the road. A car which was speeding and has swerved to avoid an open truck door comes racing down upon her, swerving and missing her at the last minute. Completely shocked she crawls back onto the footpath, to a seat and looks at her bloody knees.

Anna has gone home and started smoking and reading a brochure on abortion. Andy has been walking aimlessly and finds himself on the railway track, he sees the dead man's girlfriend (Julia) coming so he quickly hides behind a post. After she passes he hurries away but she sees him.

Julia has mainly been numb since the death. She browsed coffins and relatives received flowers at the door. She goes out for a walk and sees a memorial that Meryl had made near the track. She had been angered in seeing her photo on the front page. She feels further disempowered that someone else has made a memorial. Looking around furiously she then kicks the memorial to pieces before hurrying home, then purposefully gathering tools and materials.

Latter we see the new memorial she has made next to the track. Andy comes upon this and realises together with the events surrounding Anna and his ex wife how one sided he has seen everything. He feels completely lost, realising he doesn't want to be like he was, but not knowing how to move forward.

The train driver has been near comatose at home. At first his son, who is an emo, just avoids him and sneaks a read at the papers which detail the death. However, as his dad fails to change, he begins to worry, even changing back to normal clothes to try and draw his dad back. One night he brings his dad a beer and sits with him in the garden. Finally they drive to the widow's house and the driver goes to Julia and tells her I was the train driver. He gives her a card which features one of Meryl's paintings. Julia reaches out to him and says it was not his fault. The driver takes her hand and shakes it and then goes back to his waiting son.

Nick starts running when he realises how he has stuffed everything up. He finds himself at the tracks and sees the train. In a liberating moment he begins to race the train, not understanding why. He runs hard and begins pulling in front with the driver looking confused down at him. The driver then looks up and begins yanking the horn. Nick doesn't realise why until he comes around the bend and sees Andy standing on the tracks. At the last moment, Andy steps back and the train passes. Thoroughly exhausted, Nick can't even ask what he is doing. Andy says what are you doing here? It is then revealed that Nick has cancer. Andy says, what? cancer-cancer? Nicks asks why everyone asks that. Andy asks probing questions, how does he know, will he get better. It becomes apparent to him by Nick's behaviour that Nick is actually petrified by his fear of dying. Andy does not tell him what has been going on in his life.

Nick leaves. He realises he needs to fix things with Meryl. It begins raining hard. Meryl meanwhile, also realises she wants Nick and that he probably needs her. She runs back to the cricket ground and looks visibly upset that Nick isn't there. She runs back to her house the same time Nick runs there. They kiss.

Andy drives back to Anna's place and runs to her door, hammering furiously on the door. Anna comes to the window confused and sees him soaked and looking up at her.

Phil is enjoying his daughter's party, which Andy's children are at, and hugs his own children close. He has quit smoking and brought his wife flowers.

In the same style of photo montage as when Nick found out about his cancer, we now see a spread of photos detailing how Nick and Meryl stuck together through his treatment, went overseas, love each other, how Andy and Anna have the baby and how Phil spends more time with his family too.